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Joey, daring the spotlights that had been scanning the warehouse in which he was holed up, took a fast look out the window at the crowd below, and shouted, “By no means, you dirty, rotten bill collectors!” Then he ducked back to the haven beneath the sill.
He lately got more into debt than usual – in reality, he identified himself surrounded by it – and he was having a restless dream about the multitude of bill collectors who had been haunting his mind. Becoming an old movie buff with smiling memories of Jimmy Cagney, his brain had somehow cast him in a role familiar to all who really feel a comparable attachment to the Cagney legacy. His black suit was dusty, his white shirt was open, and he had a bottle of whisky beside him, from which he took an occasional reinforcement.
“Joey, do you hear me?” the Verizon customer service rep referred to as by way of a bullhorn. “This is Verizon.”
“Whaddaya want?” Joey called back.
“This is a final disconnect notice.”
“Already?” Joey replied, and looked down at the pile of bills scattered on the floor. He started to leaf through them nervously and identified the Verizon invoice. “I have your bill appropriate here,” he yelled out the window. “It is only fifteen days overdue. Do not I get a month or two just before you disconnect my service?”
“Not anymore, kid,” the Verizon rep shouted back. “You got a lousy payment record.”
“Yeah, so what do you want me to do about it?” Joey replied, knowing he didn’t have the funds to pay the bill at the moment. He eked out a living as a freelance journalist, and he had only lately come by way of a period exactly where he had not placed his usual number of articles. Thankfully, he had finally sold a piece to Travel & Leisure.
Just then one of the cops in the crowd lifted his own bullhorn, and referred to as, “Joey, this is Officer O’Hara. Come out with your checkbook open – or else!”
“Or else what, you dirty, stinkin’ copper?” Joey shouted back.
“I’ll tell ya what, kid,” the Verizon rep interposed. “We interrupt your outgoing service. And get this, Joey. 3 days later, we interrupt your incoming calls – and that includes your DSL World-wide-web service.”
“No, no, something but my DSL!” Joey known as. “I’m a freelance magazine writer. If I cannot email my articles, I’ll be finished. Have a little mercy, will ya? I’ve been a Verizon customer for over ten years!”
“Sorry, Joey,” the Verizon rep replied, “We gotta go by the rules.”
At that moment, the Con Ed rep reached for the bullhorn, informing the rep from Verizon, “It is my turn. You’ve had your shot.” Then he bellowed, “Joey, do you know who this is? Con Ed.”
“What are you doin’ here?” Joey asked.
“You know as properly as I do. Your electric bill is in arrears.”
“Arrears?” Joey replied. “I’ll give you arrears!” And with that, he mooned the crowd.
“Watch it, kid,” Officer O’Hara referred to as via his bullhorn. “That is indecent exposure. You could end up in the pen.”
“You believe I care?” Joey shouted back. “At least, there I won’t have to pay for my room and board.”
Reacting to that comment, a lawyer, who had been unaccustomedly silent until now, reached for the bullhorn. “Speaking about room and board, Joey, I’m a lawyer with a message from your landlord.”
“No, no, not that, too!” Joey agonized, and, in Cagneyesque style, he created two fists and rubbed his temples with them.
“You’re over a month behind!” the lawyer reminded him, and held up an ominous, legal-size document. “I have the eviction notice correct here.”
“An eviction notice?” Joey wailed.
“Yeah,” the lawyer replied. “You gotta vacate the premises!”
Then the Con Ed rep took the bullhorn back, saying, “I wasn’t finished with him.” He turned toward the warehouse in which Joey was holed up. “This is your final notice, kid. If payment in (chicago wedding venues loft) full is not received by today’s date, your
service will be discontinued. That indicates lights out!”
“Yeah, yeah, I hear ya,” Joey known as, and lied. “I put a check in the mail.”
“When did you mail it out?”
“Tuesday.”
“That’s what you said last week, Joey,” the rep shot back, holding up his account record. “I have the evidence appropriate here.”
“But it is February! With out electricity, I could freeze to death.”
“We regret any inconvenience.”
The lawyer reached for the bullhorn again. “About your electric bill, Joey – don’t be concerned.”
“Why not?”
He had by now tied the legal document around a rock and held it up. “Because you should vacate the premises no later than three days from the service of this notice.” Then he hurled the stone-bound document toward the window. “Read it and weep!”
It broke by means of the top of the window and crashed onto the floor. Joey shook the glass fragments off himself, crept over to the lately arrived document, and slipped it off the rock. He looked it over and mumbled to himself, “The pressure, how can I take all this pressure?” Then, with renewed resolve, he called back, “You’ll never take me alive! Never!”
The cop lifted his bullhorn. “Joey, listen to me. This is Officer O’Hara once more. Be reasonable. No phone, no DLS, no lights, no heat. What sort of life is that? Do the appropriate factor and come out with your checkbook.”
“I require time,” Joey known as back. “There’s a check in the mail.”
The crowd burst into peals of laughter and commented variously, “Not that sorry tale again!”
“No, no, I mean, a check is in the mail to me.”
They laughed even louder.
“You don’t get it,” he said. “For when, I’m tellin’ the truth. You have my word on that.”
“Your word?” the lawyer asked, and laughed even even more heartily. “You know what that is worth? Not a plug nickel!”
“We’ve heard that one before, Joey – heard it too countless times,” the Con Ed rep stated.
“What is the source of the check?” Verizon asked.
“I sold an article to Travel & Leisure magazine. A main piece. They owe me just about 3 grand.”
“Did you say virtually three grand?” Verizon wanted to know.
“You heard me,” Joey confirmed.
“When is the alleged check due?” the lawyer demanded.
“Any day. Accounting told me it’s in the mail.”
“In the mail?” the lawyer stated, with a cynically sympathetic glance at the reps. “No dice, kid. What sort of chumps do you believe we are?”
“But it’s Travel & Leisure, not some two-bit gazette. They continually pay on time.” Then he reconsidered his alternatives. “If that’s not excellent enough, how about this? I’ll take care of all of you out of my checking plus account.”
At the mere mention of that resource, the Citibank rep took the bullhorn. “Not so rapidly, Joey. This is Citibank. You already applied up your checking plus.”
“All of it?” Joey asked.
“Worse, kid. You crossed the credit line. Nowadays, we had to bounce three checks.”
“Not that! Something but that!”
“Sorry, kid, we didn’t have a choice. Admit it. You are at the end of your rope.”
“Just so I know, who were the checks to?”
The Citibank rep looked at Joey’s account. “The Chinese Laundry, the Korean fruit market, and Blockbuster.”
“Blockbuster? How could you do that to me? I’ll in no way be able to rent a DVD once more.”
“Tough luck, kid. You didn’t give us any choice.”
“But I’m a great customer. I’ve been with Citibank considering that I came to the Huge Apple.”
“Yeah, and you have racked up really a history with us. I’ve got the entire sorry tale suitable here.”
“Come on, have a small mercy, will ya? Increase my line of credit. I’ll pay you back. You know I’m very good for it.”
“Can’t be done, kid, your credit score is too low.”
Now, a matronly woman worked her way up to the front of the crowd. “Please, let me (chicago wedding venues mansion) talk with him,” she pleaded
“Who are you, lady?” Officer O’Hara asked.
“I’m his mother.”
“His
mother? That is all you had to say.”
He turned to the reps. “We’re givin’ her a shot.”
The Citibank rep handed her the bullhorn, saying, “Beneficial luck, lady.”
She turned toward the warehouse and looked up at the window. Straining to see through the glare of the spotlights that traced across the fa?ade, she referred to as, “Joey?”
He looked up. “Is that you, Ma?”
“Yes, Joey.”
“Appear, Mom, I’m sorry about this, but I’m in trouble, large trouble. I got in over my head. “
“I know, son.”
“There is only 1 way out for me. I know I’m a grown man and I hate to ask, but can you spot me a grand? I’ll pay it back, I promise.”
“I would if I could, son. But I do not get my social security check until subsequent week. How about a hundred? I can eat baloney sandwiches until then.”
“A hundred?” Joey asked. “Did you say a hundred, Ma?”
“Yes, Joey. I’m sorry. It is the most effective I can do.”
“That’s all appropriate, Ma. You keep it. I’m in too deep. You cannot support me anymore.”
“You know I really like you.”
“Yeah, I know, Ma. I’m sorry I didn’t do greater in life.”
Just then a mail truck drove up, with the horn honking like a bugle. The crowd turned toward it. The mailman jumped out, mail in hand, and announced, “By no means fear, the mail is here!”
“Don’t tell me?” Joey referred to as. “You got my check?”
The mailman took a telltale white envelope out of the handful of other missives and held it up proudly. “I got it ideal here, Joey.”
“Did you hear that, you dirty rats?” Joey called back, and stood up, dusting himself off. “I got the check.”
“Mind if I take a look?” the lawyer asked with the usual skepticism.
The mailman held the envelope up like a billboard.
The lawyer studied it, and affirmed, “It is from Travel & Leisure all correct, and, from the appear of it, I’d say it’s undoubtedly a check.”
A hubbub rippled through the crowd.
“Did you hear that?” the Verizon rep commented. “He got the check.”
“What do you know? The kid got the check,” the Citibank rep admitted.
Joey walked out of the constructing, a free of charge man, and created his way to the crowd. He reached out and took the check from the mailman. “Thanks, buddy.”
“Just doin’ my job,” the mailman replied.
Then he headed for his mail truck with an irrepressible heroic swagger.
“Oh, Joey, I’m so pleased for you,” his mother effused.
“Thanks, Ma,” he told her, and put his arm about her.
The lawyer, becoming instantly cordial, reached his arm around Joey. “Problem’s good as solved, kid. Just pay up and you can stay.”
“And you can count on Con Ed to offer all the electricity you require,” the rep assured him.
The Verizon rep winked, and added, “We’re your phone organization. You know that, Joey. You got all the service you want, including your DSL.”
“And about your checking plus account,” the Citibank rep told him. “We’re gonna come across a way to function about your credit score so we can give you an increase.”
“Really? Hey, whaddaya know? Just goes to show you what an ordinary guy like me can accomplish when he gets a check.”
He tore open the welcome envelope and looked at the little piece of paper that had just saved him from a fate worse than death. Then he kissed it and held it up for all to see.
“I’m a no cost man! Totally free of all my most pressing debts.”
With that realization, he smiled and slipped into a a lot even more deeply satisfying sleep.
Becoming a movie buff with smiling memories of Jimmy Cagney, Joey, more in debt than usual, found himself in a familiar role. “Joey, do you hear me?” the customer service rep known as by way of a bullhorn. “This is Verizon.”
“Whaddaya want?” Joey known as back. “This is a final disconnect notice,” (chicago wedding venues small) the voice shot back.
In other General news:
General Dynamics Corp received a task order to provide enterprise communication services under the Solutions for the Information Technology Enterprise contract
General Dynamics Corp said Thursday that it has received a 564 million contract from the Department of Defense to make Rifleman and Manpack radios for the US Army
General Motors Chairman and CEO Ed Whitacres decision to step down on Sept 1 remains on the minds of GM dealers and stakeholders some of whom said they are still eager to buy GM stock as soon as its available
New Yorks attorney general has started an antitrust investigation into the NFL lockout requesting information from both the league and the players association about the economic impact of pro footballs labor impasse
On Thursday analyst Diane Geissler from Credit Agricole Securities downgraded her rating on General Mills from outperform to underperform The new rating is the equivalent of a sell rating and among the 20 analysts covering General Mills it is the only sell
On March 29 2009 General Motors CEO Rick Wagoner was ousted The move kicked off a historic amount of change at the helm of Detroitbased GM
New Delhi July 10 IANS Solicitor General Gopal Subramaniam met President Pratibha Patil Sunday a day after he offered to resign official sources said
New Yorks attorney general has started an antitrust investigation into the NFL lockout requesting information from both the league and the players association about the economic impact of pro footballs labor impasse
New Delhi July 10 ANI Solicitor General Gopal Subramaniam met President Pratibha Patil on Sunday a day after he offered to resign
The GovernorGeneral Rt Hon Sir Anand Satyanand has been admitted to Auckland Hospital with a chest infection
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Last year when a Time satirist showcased the new Edisonians of Edison NJ as chutneyloving dot heads whose gods have multiple arms and an elephant nose Indian immigrant groups were outraged
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Send the Winter Olympics to a new frontier in Asia or go back to the roots of winter sports in the heart of Europe
One of my daughters and my favorite shows to watch together is Four Weddings on the TLC channel
Are the DPs returning to the Windy City However this article from Argentina indicates that the Puerari replacement is Sebastin Grazzini who last played with All Boys in Argentina
Send the Winter Olympics to a new frontier in Asia or go back to the roots of winter sports in the heart of Europe
Wheaton native Sean Rooney and Carol Stream native Andy Hein are among the 35 players on the United States mens volleyball team that are gunning to make the 2012 Olympics squad
Send the Winter Olympics to a new frontier in Asia or go back to the roots of winter sports in the heart of Europe
DETROIT Betty Ford the outspoken former first lady whose candid revelations about her battles with breast cancer prescription drugs and alcohol helped thousands of Americans cope with similar ordeals died Friday She was 93 In early April 2007 the former first lady underwent minor surgery for an unspecified condition at the Eisenhower Medical Center near her home in Rancho Mirage Calif
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